Moving On

I won't say I've been told its time to move on. Its been barely 4 months since Bennett and Matthew were born, much less since they died. But I'm not going to post in a way that keeps me from finishing sentences or even words. I'm posting in a way that's going to make my fingers race to the keys. A way that will make my brain keep a list of all the things I want to say.

I've taken my experience with my twins and made it into something positive. I've taken my pain to offer healing towards those who have also lost someone close. I'm leading what I like to call "FHT" or the Funeral Hospitality Team at Good Shepherd UMC...a church that practically fell into our laps at just the right moment over a year ago. I basically let the team know when our services are needed. Someone takes care of the food and the rest of us are there to do everything else; from chairs to tissues. I have made the most horrible time of my life into the hands of Christ. Reaching out to these people who are left here has given me a sense of hope and purpose. I know I'll see my boys again. I can't wait till I do.

There are so many different ways of coping with a loss like this. My route of choice was pouring myself into planning a guest room. Getting all the boys' things out of there was difficult. David had a hard time while deciding how to take the beds down and where to move them. We got that sorted out and I began my decorating crusade! I was able to procure the wicker furniture from my room back "home" and have the pieces all set up, save for a console table waiting patiently for one big bad dresser to get out of the way. Tonight I have ordered curtains, cushions, and a mirror that will hang over said console. I am so beyond ecstatic to get this room going! I've got so much still to get...like say a bed, mattress, and bedding! And don't even get me started on the walls; I have no idea what will go where, much less what will go in the first place! David bought some fabulous vintage wrapping paper that I'm very likely to cut a piece of and frame. How awesome would that be?? Totally. Thats how. I can't wait till things start coming in so I can take pictures! I know this room is going to look amazing. So much so I may never be able to change it!